How to Talk about Sex with Kids

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I can’t sing enough praises about my Raising Children UnFundamentalist Group – they are by far the most welcoming group of people. They are filled with wisdom and funny anecdotes and resources. Today, I asked them, how do we raise our children unfundamentalist in regards to sex? We wanted to avoid Christian purity culture because of the harmful patriarchal elements in it requiring girls to stay chaste, to be held responsible for men’s lust, and yet to somehow be able to adequately seduce our husbands in the bedroom after marriage. We are resolute–we do not want to raise our children to feel shame about sex, but to feel safe, to learn about consent, and to believe that our bodies are beautiful and ours. 

What followed was a vibrant discussion filled with wonderful advice, honest questions, and recommendations to resources. I’ve linked them up here in this handy dandy blog post, hope you find them helpful. I have not read all the books so I can’t endorse them all, but I trust my people enough to share their recommendations.

It’s Not The Stork!

From the expert team behind IT’S PERFECTLY NORMAL and IT’S SO AMAZING! comes a book for younger children about their bodies — a resource that parents, teachers, librarians, health care providers, and clergy can use with ease and confidence.

Wits – Julia Sweeney’s Sex Ed Monologue

Wits guest star Julia Sweeney shares a story about discussing the birds and bees (and frogs) with her eight-year-old daughter.

Deborah Tolman

How to support healthy sexual development

Why Wait by Jamie the Very Worst Missionary

Why wait? Um. Because you need to learn some freaking self-control. That’s why.

Sex is Tricky by Glennon Melton at Momastery

“WELL, I suppose praying might have something to do with baby-making, sure. But, you know, even if you pray to win the lottery till the cows come home, you’re not gonna win unless you also BUY A TICKET. Making big things happen requires PARTICIPATION.”

The Gift of Sex

Clifford and Joyce Penner, clinical therapist and nurse have written a sensitive and forthright guide to understanding sexuality and how it fits into God’s design for marriage.

The Talks: A Parent’s Guide to Critical Conversations about Sex, Dating and other Unmentionables

The Talks will help you to… *Focus on 15 conversations that every family must have about sex and dating. *Lay the right foundation on critical issues with your younger children. *Develop a practical approach to opposite sex relationships for teens. *Find healing from your own past so you can help your kids make wise choices.

Fresh Off the Boat and the Bunny Attack (about date rape)

The Care and Keeping of You

Our best-selling body book for girls just got even better! With all-new illustrations and updated content for girls ages 8 and up, it features tips, how-tos, and facts from the experts. (Medical consultant: Cara Natterson, MD.)

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  • Suzanna Turner

    I was given The Gift of Sex right before I was married in 1989. For some reason I could not open that book and really read it. The fact that it was written by Christian writers I just couldn’t for fear of shame and patriarchal messages. I maybe wrong but it felt similar to me not wanting to go to see a “Christian” Therapist. BTW I finally tossed out that book just a month or so ago. Weird

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